It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
