I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
