ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
