why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
