I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
