It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
