and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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