Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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