carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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