So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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