She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
