Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
