belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
