So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
