if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
