I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
