I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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