Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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