Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
