I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
