Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
