so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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