Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
