this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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