I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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