i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
