I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
