TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
