she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
