If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
