is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
