I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i think im in europe. pls send help
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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