You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
