so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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