Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
