the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
