Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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