just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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