Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Small penises have feelings too.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
