Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
is it fun? or sober?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
