think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
