your room smells of hookers.
And success
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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