i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
