Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
