It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
