whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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