guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
