it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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