I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
