having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
