You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
